Wednesday, April 17, 2013

stay little forever...

it seems like every time we have a random act of violence in our country i struggle for a few days coping with what kind of world we are living in.  it seems like it is happening more and more.  the news reports get more detailed and the images more graphic.  with the latest bombings in boston this week, i cringed watching the news.  

it is difficult to raise young children in the world today.  aside from the trials that i know they will face at school, there is turmoil and devestation throughout the world.  while i know this has been the case throughout most of history, it seems like it is getting worse, and because of media and technology we are inundated with it at every turn.  every time i have a cnn news update pop up on my phone i tense up.

while somedays i want to shut the door and keep our sweet innocent girls locked up and safe forever, i know that that is not an option.  after dropping gracie off at school today i ran a couple errands with maddie.  by the time we made it home i turned in my seat to find her sound asleep.  i looked at her sitting so peacefully in her carseat, her chubby fingers were wrapped around her favorite frog.  my heart ached for the family who lost their young son in boston, i can’t fathom the pain they are feeling.  matthew made it home shortly after and we sat at the kitchen table talking with the news in the background.  he said he teared up on the way to school that morning listening to the reports.  i took some pictures of the girls playing today.  i couldn't help but think about some of the ways we have and will have to explain the unexplainable.

i do not enjoy overly gory entertainment, but even i am surprised how often i am unfazed by commercials and previews with excessive violence.  we are very cautious of what the girls watch on tv, i am not comfortable letting them get desensitized by violence.  however, gracie will catch an occasional image or hear someone talking...the hard part is when she asks what is going on.  in the last couple days we have explained that people were hurt, and we can maybe say a prayer that they will feel better soon.  when she asks why or what happened, we will explain that someone made a bad choice, and that it is really sad.  i think at her age, the most important thing is to comfort her and love her in that moment and still allow her to stay young and innocent.  to not let her dwell on those things, but to make her feel safe.  

we can bring them up in a home that is filled to capacity with love.  teach them compassion, kindess and empathy for others.  i don’t ever want them to be dulled to the constant barrage of news reports.  i want them to understand how tragic those things are, and that each person taken before their time in these senseless acts are more than just numbers and statistics, but people with loved ones, whose lives were cut short.  i want them to see that for every individual or group who choses to harm others are thousands of people who come to help.  people who risk their own lives to serve and protect.  people who donate time and money and resources.  that the world needs those kind of people, and that the girls are expected to serve and give back too.  there is more good than evil, more kindness than hate.  that they can make a difference and be the good in others lives.  and thank heaven for all that good in the world!

gracie has had a few struggles with another child in her preschool class.  she came home upset the other day because the child told her they weren’t going to be her friend and pulled her hair.  she was heartbroken, she sat at our kitchen table with her head down and said, “but mom, i wasn’t even mean, i gave them the toy. “  these moments are so hard for me!  my sweet girl!  how can anyone be mean to her?!  i have to bite my tongue.  we explained that we can’t control everybody.  they may have been having a sad day, and while it’s not okay that they pulled her hair, or said mean things, we still have to be kind, and most importantly a friend.  we told gracie that she can ask her friend to be nice, and if she needs help with the situation, her teacher is always right there.  i have to cling to the fact that there are good people out in the world who will step in to love and teach my girls when we are not there (matthew has to remind me that we can’t always be right there next to them:).  she came home the next day and said that her teacher had given her a big hug and helped her classmate to get along with all the other kids.  there is a fine line between being sensitive and being able to stand up for yourself, it’s something i still struggle with!  a lot of the lessons the girls will learn will come later in life, but something we’re adamant in teaching now is to be nice.  

most important for me is for the girls to know that they have a place that they belong.  that they are loved with every ounce of our beings.  that regardless of anything, we will love and protect them.  we will never shoo them off in the middle of the night after a nightmare, or hand down nothing but judgements as they weave they way through their difficult firsts.  we will celebrate their sweet spirits and try in every way to make them feel special.  and in those difficult moments when we attempt to explain the unexplainable i hope that it will show them that there is still good in the world, and still so much hope.

//sometimes we get in trouble for not sharing//

1 comment:

  1. Such a great post, with very valuable lessons. SO well written! Thanks for sharing :)